Does my breath smell?

Before  I begin let me say that some people might see this as kinda snarky lol so I'm sorry but it's really just something that came up again this weekend as I was watching another competition.  You all know about my contest experiences and normally it's not something I invest heavily in because well much like in real life I don't like losing.  That isn't to say I MUST win but not winning isn't as much fun lol.  After MEI wrapped I was exhausted and this summer/fall was kinda dead as far as booking shows or that kind of thing for me.  Partially I was out of the loop and partially I think the show count was down for my available time zones.  No harm no foul because I was still teaching and it's still fun for me to do so.

Fast forward to Saturday when the Miss Essence of Ebony competition started.  You should remember, if you were reading then, I tried out twice didn't make it either time and after some reflection decided I needed a break from being evaluated for a while.  As a contestant you never know what the observer is looking for and that became apparent in several conversations I had offline about what is considered attractive, talent, inspirational or entertaining over the last several weeks.  From knock down drag outs about why I think Jay Z looks like Joe Camel to why Jennifer Hudson doesn't appeal to me to how someone else can sing a song I don't like by the original artist and I'm in love with it.  I was all over the place and subjectivity was all that kept running through the conversations in total.  The same kind of thing is present in the messiness of Agency Report when model A isn't selected but someone that is disliked by another group is.  Of course we want to support our friends and sometimes it does look like there is some favoritism going on from our vantage point but there's that whole subjectiveness thing again.  Their friends, and yes they have them no matter how much you don't like them, are  thrilled for them.  As I was on Saturday for my student. 

So I'm in the audience to support a student, see several models I know well that were fierce--as was my student~big congrats to Lieffie Ruby for doing a stellar job--and then the other thing that always happens when I'm at events like these happened.  Questionable styling, crazy poses, and just utter foolishness in some cases.  I'll admit that some of it could be caused by lag and it was definitely laggy--show had to be moved and started nearly 2 hours later because of the lag.  However, other stuff could not be attributed to lag and it made me wonder well dang what exactly did I do during casting that I didn't make the cut.  Don't get me wrong I'm not the styling diva extraordinaire that expects to be picked at all times but I thought I did a good job at the time.  And that reminded me about the subjective thing again as well as my dislike of losing lol.  If I enter something I'm doing it with the desire to do my best.  If you don't make it past step one then it's hard to do that.  Last year I was intent on putting myself out there more and I did but I realized why I can't just do the contest thing for the sake of doing it.  It's a lot of work and time commitment to apply, compete and really work as hard as you can to perform well.  From perpetual pose checks, prim checks, finding the just right shoes/skin/hair/nails/lashes, making a look work from disparate pieces, etc.  And even though I talk a lot with my job, I'm actually pretty shy and reserved unless we are pretty good friends.  All that to say that some of the other things that people find enjoyable about contests just tire me out for some reason lol.  It's good experience, it does test you and your adaptability, but all in all I am not sure where my curvy booty fits into the typical contest :-)

Ahh well this is not a gripe just some realizations I'm sharing.  Please go the to Essence of Ebony site and check out Ms. Ruby and the other standouts from Saturday's show.

See ya on the grid,
Rouge