Frustrated

Okay so I waited about a week to write this post. Because of that other frustrations have arose so this post will be a double whammy and I'll start with probably the less controversial one first. It's been a building issue for me to miss castings. Since I'm US based and work normal business hours unless there's a late evening or weekend casting for a show---or if we're picked based on look and then practices are worked around our schedules---I miss 80 to 90 percent of castings for runway shows or agency open calls. I read every notice that hits my screen about shows and often end up taking a deep sigh and discarding the note card. If I'm heading to JCNY or if some of the models i know would be on during that time frame I pass it on but can't do much with it myself. There is also the periodic casting is when I'm free but the show will be smack dab in the middle of my work day. I know I've read about folks being upset that the same rotation of models are at most shows but I'm coming to think its because they are available when the castings are held or the shows will be held. Plus who doesn't want to go with someone they know and can count on? It's just like running into a brick wall sometimes because short of taking time off my RL job I won't be able to see or be seen by most designers. I know it's typically based on what's convienent to the agency or designer just wish there were a few more opportunities for the post 3pm SL crowd. Enough of that.

Initially I said I'd let it go primarily because the industry is fickle and ruffling feathers isn't always appreciated. But you know the issue is relevant to me on a few levels so I had to say something and if it costs me work, well hey what can you do. I appreciate that being a model in SL means we can morph our shapes, shorten or lengthen our hair, change our eye color and wear the most fabulous makeup available to us. But as I've been hitting more shows and checking out more flikr pages I can honestly say I've been a little irked seeing very lovely Caucasian models in very African American skin. There are tons of African American models that could be used and would be happy to be in a show I'm sure but short of one model at a wedding show I've been at and the shows I've been in with another African American model there has been a stark lack of pigment floating around. I've heard people refer to it as skin wrapping and I will admit it's probably easier to just give the model you've chosen the lovely brown skin instead of consider what that might say to someone like me in attendance. I know no real harm is intended it's just a little insulting on one level. I have no issue in changing skins or makeups or hair or shapes or anything else really but as an African American woman my only request is to always be some shade of brown. It's important for me to be a positive African American woman on here and no I wouldn't be in the other tone longer than a photo shoot or runway show but I wouldn't really be me then. I can be a mannequin, I just want to remain one of the brown ones. The look doesn't change just because I'm darker, it actually shows people range in my humble opinion.

Some people will understand both frustrations others won't or won't get why I even bothered to say a word. That's to be expected in anything. I was just hoping this would be (mostly the skin issue) an area were SL was better than RL. Changing skins doesn't share the experience of what it is to be a minority and it won't let me better understand the majority experience. I've heard several people say make sure your skin fits your shape. I don't think my shape is inherently African American but having tried on a variety of tones thanks to those lovely hunts and gifts we're randomly given as dancers and models I know that Rouge is inherently a reflection of me and both of us are happy to be brown. We'll work on that casting thing but brown is here to stay.